His Eyes
by JacquiDee
Summary: There was never a window so clear to her heart as her eyes.


**A/N: *crawls out from cave* Hi again! So my last story didn't get many reviews, but that's fine. I'm the new kid on the block so I understand :D Let's try for happy JJ/Reid now. I absolutely love this pairing, so don't get put out with me if I keep making JJ/Reid stories. I wanna give a shout out to sugarhigh9394: Thank you so much for your wonderful review on my first ever fan fic! Much love! Sadly, I do not own Criminal Minds. I asked for it for my birthday, but CBS is stubborn. Uh…happy reading! *awkwardly crawls back into cave***

There was only one person that could read Jennifer Jareau. Of course she played it like she was an open book; local police departments didn't open up as easily to her emotionless team as they did to someone with a soft smile and understanding eyes. She caved when Emily asked her questions about relationships, and, forced as it might seem, told Derek anything he wanted to know. Hotch could tell when she was bothered, yes, but he always associated it with a case. Rossi was the best profiler the F.B.I had ever seen, and he decoded her occasionally, but not one of them could look at her with those soft brown eyes and see a problem on a day when a smile adorned her face quite like Spencer Reid. And he didn't just see the problem. He took her hand gently and led her to a separate seat on the jet or the backroom in a police station and sat with her until she spoke. He would only ask her once if something was wrong, and her answer was always "Nothing". And she tried to leave it at that, honestly. But a gentle touch to her arm would stop her exit and he would just watch her with his eyes, brown like melted chocolate, waiting for her to speak. She always gave in. She didn't think there was a female on the planet who could say no to Spencer when he wanted something. And she knew that Derek thought that he was the lady's man but JJ would bet her paycheck any day that Spence's gentle eyes could make a girl's stomach flutter more than even Derek could.

"There you go again cher! Where do you go when I talk?" Will drawled, dragging her out of her thoughts. She blinked her wide blue eyes, bringing her long-time boyfriend…er…fiancé back into focus.

"Sorry," she replied sheepishly. She really tried to pay attention when Will talked, but Spence's face, branded to her memory since the day she had walked past him in the bullpen, overpowered her mind at the most inconvenient times. "I'm just revisiting the case, I suppose."

Will placed his hands on the gray marble of the countertop she was leaning against on either side of her hips. She'd gotten home at a reasonable hour this night and, after a quick kiss to her sleeping son's forehead, had passed Will on her way into their small kitchen for a late night drink of water before bed. Of course, as soon as she saw him there, sitting at the head of their small table, still in his work clothes, a small rush of guilt surged through her. She hadn't even looked for him when she opened the door. He brought his face mere inches from hers, and she tried not to flinch away, knowing that it would ring warning bells in his head.

"No Jayje. No, that's not it," he said softly. "Your eyes haven't looked so dreamy since our first date. And I know damn well that I'm not the reason anymore." JJ opened her mouth to protest, but Will gently laid a finger across her soft lips, silencing her. "Let me talk Cher. And please listen this time. You don't have that fire that I fell in love with anymore. You're on autopilot here. You're a damn good mother to Henry. And you go through the motions of being the idol girlfriend. But darling, somethin's changed. I know what it is which is why I'm not gonna try to fix it. You haven't had that dreamy look since I first met you. But I've seen you at work. You have that dreamy look whenever you look at Reid."

The small rush of guilt she had felt earlier crashed in a wave over her now. He had seen. She had tried her best to hide the cloudy look she knew came to her face when she saw Spence, and she thought that, by ignoring it, she could reignite the brief fire that had sparked when she first met Will. She knew he saw her guilt by the way she avoided his gaze. Her eyes were glued to the black and white tile until he gently raised her chin.

"It's okay JJ. I know you can't help it. You never were all the way mine anyhow. Now listen here. I love you Cher. But I'll be damned if I'm going to marry a woman who's in love with another man. This ain't gonna be a nasty split. I'm gonna sleep in the guest bedroom tonight. I'll be gone by tomorrow. It's not gonna be the last time you see me darling; you know well that I'm not gonna leave my son," he finished quietly. Her eyes were locked with his and she saw resolve in them. A tint of sadness ringed the edges, but she knew there was no changing her mind. She waited for the tears, the pleading, the begging him to say. But they didn't come. She only felt relief, if just a little regret for her son. He paused a moment, hope dancing in the back of his eyes as he waited for her to ask him to say. It extinguished quickly when she didn't say anything. He gently pressed his lips to her forehead. "Now get outta here. Go find him."

He pushed off of the counter and threw her a lopsided, slightly sad smile. She listened as his heavy cowboy boots clomped down the hallway and as the door opened, a slight creak reaching her ears, and shut. She blew out her breath, not realizing he had been holding it, and straightened her arms from their previously cramped position of being crossed over her chest. They fell to her sides and she sighed. She had wanted to make this work with Will, if only for Henry's sake. A beat of regret passed through her. She glanced down at the countertop next to her and saw the ring Will had given her. She hadn't realized he had taken it off her finger, but it was the sight of an empty ring finger that made her realize what had happened. Will had let her go. She could go find Spencer. She could tell him. She had to tell him, before another braver woman did. Her eyes jerked up to the clock. It was only 12:30. He was probably awake. Before she could second guess herself, she snatched her keys off the counter and darted out the door, leaving the ring, and Will, behind.

She jogged down to her car and yanked open the door. Her adrenaline was pumping and she had to focus to make her shaking fingers stick her key into the ignition. She pulled out of the driveway. Her eyes darted back and forth between the road and the dashboard. It was dark in her car, a curtain of night, but the little digital numbers shone brightly, urging her to keep going. The landscape rushed by her, too fast for her to distinguish, even if it wasn't cloaked in black. She didn't have second thoughts until she pulled into his driveway. She turned off the engine and then sat in the darkness. It was so silent it was loud and she chewed her lip as she looked down in her lap. Maybe she should go back to Will. This was stupid. He wouldn't actually leave her, if she came home right now. She lifted the keys and stuck them back into the ignition, but didn't turn on the car. She sighed, the rush of breath seeming amplified in the quiet. She reached over and opened up the dashboard, looking for her phone. She had to call Will. She growled under her breath as she fumbled in the dark, remembering she left it at home. She froze as her fingers brushed something smooth. She clicked the overhead light on and pulled out the piece of paper. It was a picture. She studied it carefully. Her eyes were bright, her hair was a mess, and a smile was stretching her lips. The person standing next to her in the picture was smiling. It was an awkward smile but it was there. Maybe it was fate for her to find that picture. Maybe it was just luck. But whatever it was, JJ opened the door, took a deep breath of the fresh summer air and walked, albeit nervously, up the patio steps and to the light gray door.

She stayed outside on the porch for a couple of minutes. She shifted her weight back and forth and chewed her lip, wondering what to say. She raised her hand to knock when the door flew open, revealing the tall, lean frame that sent her heart into overdrive every time. She blinked as the light from inside flooded her vision.

"JJ? What are you doing here? What's wrong?" Spencer's worried voice was music to her ears. She didn't answer, just looked at him. He was in gray sweats that hung low on his hips and a fitted black t-shirt. His hair was rumpled, and right behind him in the doorway was an empty cup sitting on the table next to his brown leather couch. A book lay discarded on his coffee table and quiet music thrummed in the background. "JJ?" he asked again, raising an eyebrow. She jerked her head up, realizing she was staring at him. A light blush stained her cheeks.

"Spence. Hi. Sorry to bother you. Can I, um, can I come in?" she asked nervously, feeling like a teenager on her first date.

"Of course! Forgive me, where are my manners?" Spencer quickly stepped aside, ushering her in. She stood in the doorway, watching him as he moved to clean off the couch. "Can I get you a cup of coffee or something?" he asked over his shoulder.

"No, no that's alright," she responded quietly. Of course there was a certain lightness to being with him. Or even near him. It felt natural. But she was anxious, knowing that what she had to say tonight would change their entire dynamic. He paused in his cleaning, straightening out his long body. He walked to her hesitantly. She felt his gentle touch on her arm, the touch that always made her talk. His brows furrowed as he studied her face. She was looking away from him, staring intently at a painting on the wall, knowing that her no-eye-contact was a dead giveaway to the experienced profiler.

"JJ? What's wrong?"

She didn't answer, only stared, shifting her gaze to the floor.

"You know you can tell me anything," he promised softly, gently placing a hand on her waist and leading her to the couch. She dropped awkwardly to the cushion and leaned back against the couch. She watched, enviously, as he gracefully folded up his lean figure and settled in next to her.

"I know," she finally spoke. She turned her gaze to him, letting those soft brown eyes search her face. She took a deep breath. "Will's leaving," she murmured quietly, locking her eyes with his. She watched as his chocolate-y orbs widened. He reached for her hand, rubbing soothing circles with his thumb, not realizing the electric shock that pulsed through her at the contact.

"I'm so sorry JJ. He's making the biggest mistake of his life," Spencer whispered. The atmosphere was quiet, peaceful, and it seemed as if speaking at a normal volume would break the tranquility. She moved her gaze down to her hand, now intertwined with his. She missed the new flame that lit up his eyes.

"It's okay, I guess. I mean it will hit Henry the hardest, which isn't fair. But I think I stopped loving him a long time ago. I think I love someone else now," she clenched her hand unconsciously as she spoke, never moving her eyes off of their hands. She missed the emptiness, the hint of despair that ringed the eyes she loved. He tightened his grip, sensing that she wasn't finished, hoping that the lucky man who had caught her attention realized that he held Spencer's entire world in the palm of his hand. "No, I know that I love someone else. And it's not new. I've loved him for a long time," she pushed forward, passed the lump in her throat, hoping he would take the hint. Spence cleared his throat.

"I'm happy for you JJ. Really. When do I get to meet the lucky guy?" he questioned half-heartedly. He'd loved JJ since day one; he didn't want to hear her gush over another man.

"It's…it's you Spence." Her words were so quiet that he could've pretended he hadn't heard her. But she knew, by the tensing of his body and the stillness of his thumb, that he had. "I'm sorry, I should go," she mumbled low in her throat. She knew this was a mistake. She didn't even have a chance to stand up before his long, graceful fingers were lifting her chin. She fought it, looking down, afraid to see rejection from the eyes that she most loved.

"JJ, look at me." She timidly raised her gaze. His eyes made her catch her breath. They were softened and twinkling. They held a courage she had never before seen in her best friend. His calloused hand gently cupped her cheek. Her breath caught in her throat. He leaned forward until she could feel his breath on her face, then he paused. "JJ, this isn't temporary. I want you to know that if you make this step that I can't let you walk away from me," he murmured, brushing her jaw with his lips. Her eyelids fluttered. His hand slowly slid to the back of her neck. His voice was deep and gravelly as he talked, the voice of a man. "Tell me now Jayje that you don't want to walk away from me," he breathed, locking eyes with her. She idly thought that she was definitely right to bet her paycheck on him. He didn't flaunt his skills like Derek, but he sure as hell could give "The Lady's Man" a run for his money.

"I have never been able to walk away," she mumbled, threading her fingers into the soft brown hair at the nape of his neck. "Now kiss me, before I lose my mind." That was all it took. He leaned forward, closing the distance between them. He wasn't rushing, a boy wanting a girl. His lips were soft and gentle, his kiss slow and deliberate. He was man showing a woman what it was like to be loved. Their lips moved in sync, his hands settling on her hips and hers twined in his hair. She lightly traced his bottom lip with her tongue, silently asking for entrance. She was granted it, and exploring Spencer's mouth almost sent her into a frenzy. He groaned quietly when she ran her tongue lightly over the roof of his mouth and the sound made her tremble. She slowly moved from her position next to him until she was straddling his lap. She pulled back for breath and began fumbling with the hem of his t-shirt, trying to get it off. His laid his hand gently over hers, stopping her. She looked up with confusion swirling in her blue eyes.

"No, JJ," he whispered, breathing heavily. The sight of her slightly swollen lips and eyes now darkened with lush nearly sent him over the edge. The confused look that came into them almost broke his heart.

"Don't you want me too?" she asked in a small voice, feeling the blush creep up her cheeks. She felt the sting of rejection, and she wanted to crawl under a rock. She looked away from him.

"You know I do," he murmured quietly, twisting a strand of her long blonde hair around his finger.

"Then why'd you make me stop?" she pouted, knowing she was being immature.

"Because I don't want you to wake up tomorrow morning with tears in your eyes," he held up a hand to stop her protest, "and when you do wake up next to me, I'd rather it not be in reaction to Will LaMontagne. " She looked down again. Of course Spencer would stop, ignoring the feelings pulsing through him and worrying only about her. "Sweetheart," he said softly, raising her chin. She looked at him, loving the way the affectionate term rolled off his tongue. His voice made the word special. "I do want you. But I want you on my terms." He smiled a lopsided smile that made her heart leap. He gently scooped her up, making her laugh at the cliché position and carried her out the door to her car. He kissed her once as he set her down.

"Will you come over tomorrow?" she asked quietly, her hands fisted in his shirt. She was terrified to let him go and wake up from this beautiful dream. She felt his lips on her forehead.

"I'll go wherever you want me to."

"That's a big commitment Spencer Reid," she teased lightly. "I may want to lock you up and keep you." He stretched out his wrists in front of her.

"I'm your prisoner," he laughed lovingly, wrapping his arms around her and resting his chin on her head. She looked up at him.

"You know what I love most about you?" she asked him. He smiled lightly, tracing her cheekbones.

"Please enlighten me."

"I love your eyes. The way they see right through me," she spoke as she leaned her head against his chest. After a moment he pulled back, eyes softer than ever. He opened the car door for her, a gentleman as always. She sighed, and untangled herself. She was settled in the car, engine running, when she barely heard his whisper.

"You know what I love about you?" She looked up at him and shook her head, a smile gracing her lips.

"What do you love about me?" she giggled. He lightly took her hand in his and kissed each of her knuckles. She watched him carefully, wondering what this meant. He lingered on the recently empty third finger of her left hand. When he looked back up at her there was a light in his eyes she had never seen before.

"That my ring will grace this finger soon. That everyone will know you as Jennifer Reid," he murmured quietly. She locked her eyes on his face. She had no doubt in her mind that he was telling the truth.

There was only one person who could read Jennifer Jareau. He hadn't done anything extraordinary when he had first met her. Nothing to warrant his ability to see right through her. And yet, she had fallen for him instantly when she looked into his eyes.

**Like it? Love it? Hate it? Please leave me your reviews. Criticism is welcome! Story ideas are welcome! Um… your love and attention is welcome! Sorry guys…I'm socially awkward :D**


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